


Healing is Just the Start

by StarDust_Art



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Cheating, Consensual Underage Sex, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Fluff, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Grief/Mourning, High School, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, My First South Park Fic, Panic Attacks, Party, Partying, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Smoking, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, This Is STUPID, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24228004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarDust_Art/pseuds/StarDust_Art
Summary: Tweek, Craig, Clyde, and Token are just four normal boys making their way through high school. Nothing strange ever happens to them. They just do things any high schooler would do, but of course with their own twist on things.They drink, smoke, date, and on occasion party, but that's about it.They seem happy enough on the outside. But with some slightly tragic backstories and home lives, what's gonna happen when one of their friends delves into an emotional pit that they can't rake their way out of.Will they succumb to the darkness or find the light?(That was a bad Summary I apologize...)
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Token Black/Clyde Donovan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Healing is Just the Start

The singular raven I was gazing at through the gloomy school window on a chilly November morning reminded me of someone. I can’t quite place my finger on who though, but it seems so familiar. God, who could it be? Their name is right on the tip of my tongue. 

The ebony feathers from the creature shone in the light of the bright sun that was present even in the middle of winter and as the avian danced along the fence they reflected purples and blues looking oddly similar to a galaxy… Galaxy?

Hmm... 

“Aha! I know-”

I was then cut off by the sudden wailing of the school fire alarm. I violently twitch in sync with the alarm, spilling some coffee in the process, and the bird quickly scuttles away, obviously startled. Whether it was because of my brief exclamation, my violently jerking body, or the fire alarm suddenly going off was unbeknownst to me. 

I jump in my seat once more, being just as startled as the bird had been as I quickly try to (unsuccessfully) gather my thoughts and assess the situation. Being quite paranoid 24/7 though, that task does not come easily to me.

What’s going on? Why is the fire alarm ringing? Is the school burning down? Oh God. Why me? I haven’t even finished my coffee yet! Agh! The thoughts raced through my head at impossible speeds. 

I was then shaken out of my own mind just as quickly as I was shaken into it by an almost (...ugly?) disembodied voice. 

“Hey!”

God?

“Hey... Hey! Spazz! you just gonna sit there?”

Definitely not God.

I jerk my head up to look at the unnecessarily annoying and almost guttural sounding voice, ready to quarrel or possibly even pounce if I feel inclined to do so, only to realize it belonged to none other than mine, and many others, life long tormentor; Eric Cartman. I sigh in discontent as I realize this is going to delay my escape out of the, possibly already up in flames, building.

“I- ngh. I don’t have time for your- Gh! For your shit right now, Cartman!” I stutter out as I stand from my seat.

I begin to take shaking steps away from my desk, looking at the floor as to not trip over anything that could suddenly appear. 

That’s crazy! Why would something appear out of nowhere? On the other hand though, how do I know it couldn’t happen? Oh God! I shouldn’t test my fates right now. This building is burning down! Agh! I need to get out of here!

I go to pick up my pace with a new sense of fear accompanying me, when I run into what feels like a slab of pig fat. I look up in confusion, realizing once again that it was only Cartman’s fat ass standing in the way of my safety. I begin to panic, just wanting to get out of this death trap classroom and I’m about ready to yell out at him, before I’m interrupted by my unexpected savior.

“Leave him alone, fatass. Hurry up and get outside, you’re gonna get us in trouble.” Kyle commands.

Not who you’d think. Huh? I owe him one.

I smile in relief and mouth a silent ‘thank you’ to the red-headed God that has saved my ass from having to deal with fatso’s comments for the umpteenth time. He returns the gesture before the short-lived silence is interrupted once more.

“Whatever Kahl. It’s not my fault the crack baby can’t act like a normal human being.”

That caught my attention once again as I turn to face Cartman. 

“I’m, I’m not a- ngh! I’m not a crack baby, Dick!” I stammer as I shove him back an inch and once again begin my trek to the door.

I may be scrawny, but Eric is all bark, no bite, so I already know I’ve practically won this one. 

Unnecessary memories play in the back of my mind of all the times he tried to act tough and fight Kyle only to start sobbing for his ‘mommy’ after one punch. God, what a loser.

If Eric’s blatant attempt to diffuse and brush the whole confrontation off isn’t proof enough. He scoffs and rolls his eyes before stammering;

“Whatever, junkie.” 

I would have said something again, but I already know that if he didn’t at least have the last word this would never end and I would end up roasting in here like the meat at a barbeque… Wait, I don’t want to look like that! 

“Gah!”

I exclaim unintentionally.

Eric jerks his head around once more.

“You say something, Tweaker?”

I reminisce about the old childhood insult intended to offend me. It used to, but ever since my actual friends started using it as a real nickname, it lost its flair and now angered me for another reason. 

He wasn’t my friend and he didn’t get to call me that.

I catch my tongue once more before I escalate the situation and force a twitching smile as I quickly reply 

“Nope.”

Before watching him turn and exit the room silently with no attempt to regain his long lost dignity.

I follow him and Kyle out the door, thinking many things in the process

Gah! They’re moving way too slow! I don’t wanna die! Please pick up the pace! Urgh!

I follow them out the door watching as Kyle’s fiery curls bounce with each step and Cartman’s back rolls jiggle, almost in sync with each other, before we exit the doorway and I scurry past them in an attempt to get out of this school alive.

I scuttle through the halls, quickly and thankfully losing the troubled duo. My hands, against my will, twitch and pull at the once soft fabric of my now disheveled and coffee-stained button up. I reach the end of the hall and as soon as I turn the corner taking me one step closer to freedom, a platinum blonde bitch bumps into me, going the opposite direction.

If the poorly dyed hair wasn’t enough to send me reeling, I look up at her face and instantly notice her awful makeup job. She has foundation about three shades too dark smeared all over the place and so many layers of mascara on it almost triggers my arachnophobia… almost. 

I’m about to just mutter a quick apology and get this over with before another, poorly timed, tic follows and causes me to trip over my own feet into the bitchy blonde bimbo once again.

“Watch it!” She snarls, with the scratchiest voice I have ever laid my ears upon.

“I-I’m sorry.” I managed to shake out successfully this time. 

She scoffs at me and whips her long hair around, just barely missing my face as I catch a whiff of her coconut and vanilla scented hair.

At least she has that going for her. I think to myself.

I return to the task at hand, finally feeling like I might get out of this school! Until I notice the hallways becoming more crowded by the second.

More and more students file into the halls, brushing against my shoulders and legs as I walk. I can feel my senses climb as I attempt to suck in with all my might from every angle trying to avoid the accidental touching of clothes with strangers. 

I look up for a split second, prepared to ask people to back the fuck off when I luckily recognize a blue patterned chullo hat in the distance. I breathe a sigh of relief and slowly make my way towards the boy that has always helped comfort me in stressful situations. 

I attempt to call out my friend's name but the meek yelp is drowned out by the various deafening conversations and never-ending screeches from the alarm drifting all around us. 

I squeeze my way through multiple girl groups, rowdy boys and couples making out, gagging multiple times in the process, realizing that I’ve made it just within grabbing distance of the black space-themed NASA jacket belonging to my best friend. But just as I reach out to grab said jacket, he turns around at the speed of light and grabs my wrist. His eyes are semi-wide and calculating until he looks down and notices my scrawny, rainbow bandage covered wrist clenched tightly between his tanned fingers. His eyes quickly return glassy and emotionless again as he continues walking forward, my wrist still wrapped in his death grip.

“Don’t sneak up on me, Tweek. We’ve been over this” he sighs out in a disappointed and slightly aggravated tone. 

I glance down at our hands as my wrist begins to ache and he seems to read my mind and loosens his grip a bit.

How thoughtful. I think as I roll my eyes. 

His ‘mad’ tone along with his nasal voice is almost enough to make me burst out laughing right then and there. He’s just like a big friendly giant. Unless he doesn’t like you… then he’s not so friendly. 

Flashbacks of people who had picked on me and Clyde in front of him dance through my mind. I shudder as I avert my gaze from his hand and look back up to meet his eyes.

He really does remind me of that raven.

“Sorry,” I mumble. “There were just so many people walking by and my senses were starting to overload.”

“Don’t apologize. I understand. Walk with me.” he commands.

Now, I am by no means a ‘submissive’ person, as one would say. I tend to do my own thing, even if it causes me constant worry half the time. But, it’s different with him. I’ve known Craig for so long and he’s helped me through so much that I trust him. So when he tells me to do something, I usually listen. He’s given me no reason to not believe he wants what’s best for me. I wish he would talk to me sometimes about his issues too though. I feel needy and clingy a lot of the time, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. It’s not like I stay up at night thinking about how much of a nuisance I am to him and how much better he would be without me…

I gulp as that last thought crosses my mind.

Definitely not.

I step in line with Craig as we shuffle out of the building and on to the track and field. Filing in with the hundreds of other students that attend South Park High.

I quickly retreat as far as possible into the confines of my thin, poorly buttoned shirt as the cool air hits me. It’s not as bad as usual, but the sudden change in temperature from the warm, fire set building, is enough to make me shudder.

I’d rather be cold than burning alive. I decide

Craig notices my shiver and rolls his eyes.

“You need to start wearing a jacket.” He points out.

“Thanks, agh! Thanks Captain obvious.” I refute.  
“I don’t have the money for one and I would just ruin it with coffee anyway so what’s the-ack! What’s the p-point.” I say with a bit of an aggressive tone.

“Jeez. Don’t be such a crybaby. I was just saying.” He says as he rolls his eyes once more and thinks about something for a moment before removing his hand from my wrist and taking off his jacket, handing it to me.

Awh he’s such a great friend. I remember as I claim the warm article of clothing with no complaints.

“Don’t ruin it with your twitchy hands and coffee though or you’re buying me a new one.” He threatens.

I take it back. I think as I remember we need to hurry and find Clyde and Token.

I scan the crowd looking for our other friends and Craig seems to follow suit when we both hear a peppy voice call out from behind us.

“Yo! Craig! Tweek!”

I stiffen for a split second before Craig and I simultaneously whip our heads around to face Clyde as he drags Token along to meet us in the center of the field.

“Stop pulling, man!” Token demands, but his order falls among deaf ears as he’s pulled another ten feet, by a boy at least half a foot shorter than him, to stop right in front of me and Craig. 

Clyde leans forward, placing his hands on his knees, panting, clearly out of breath from pulling Token all the way through the school and out to us.

And I thought this guy was supposed to be a jock. 

“Man, I thought we would never find you guys! It’s like there are like a bajillion new students every day” he whines out, glancing between the three of us, seemingly waiting for someone to agree with him. 

When no response comes aside from Craig rolling his eyes, me burying my head farther into the shell of a jacket I’ve made, and Token raising an eyebrow at him, he begins speaking again.

“But! I did find you eventually so I think I deserve some sort of prize!” he cheers out, placing his hands on his hips triumphantly

“How about Craig pays for the burgers we’re about to go eat at Mickey D’s!” he says with confidence while pointing a finger gun at Craig and pretending to dip some non-existent sunglasses down the bridge of his nose. 

Sometimes I’m still shocked at how much of a dork this guy is.

“In your dreams,” Craig replies monotonously and I pretend not to notice the smirk playing at his lips.

“Awwww, come on! I found you! So now you gotta buy me a burger!” He cries out.

It’s always been a tradition of ours to ditch out on school during fire drills. 

They see it as an opportunity to go eat junk food and play video games until school officially lets out and we can go hang at the playground and smoke or drink or do whatever it is they feel like that day.

I see it as just one more chance to get caught doing something wrong and be grounded or suspended or even expelled! 

I twitch again as the terrifying thoughts cross my mind, but everyone is used to it by now. 

I love that about them. They don’t care about my constant twitches and screeches, they don’t even notice them. I’m so lucky to have found these guys.

“Not so loud, dude. The teachers will hear you.” Token grits out.

He’s always been the sensible one.

“Yeah man! We’re- agh! We’re gonna get caught. Ack! We should- We shouldn’t do this!” I whisper through a clenched jaw.

I notice Craig staring at all of us like we’re idiots before he opens his mouth to speak.

“Clyde, I’ll think about it in the car. Token, control your boyfriend. Tweek, you say that every time, we won’t get caught. Now can we please leave. If I have to sit through physics I think I’m gonna off myself.” Craig mutters out.

Clyde’s eyes widen a bit at that last statement but immediately go back to his normal cheery set eyes. It was so sudden I thought I might have imagined it, and that’s what I would’ve continued thinking if I wasn’t an expert at emotions. The other two didn’t seem to notice though so I chose to ignore his shift in demeanor as we began our journey to Craig’s car.

We may only be sophomores, but Craig has always been a little older than the other kids in our grade. Thus why he can legally drive while Token and I only have our permits. Not that I want to drive though. That’s too many things to worry about! I could crash, I could get pulled over and shot by a cop! I could spill my coffee on myself!

But my parents are ‘tired of driving me everywhere’. I don’t know why they complain though, I don’t even go anywhere unless Craig and the boys invite me out. And even then, Craig always picks me up and drops me off. And that probably won’t change once they make me get my license either.

Clyde is the exact opposite of Craig though and is actually younger than the rest of us. So he gets his permit next month. He has yet to study though. 

That’s Clyde for you, he’s always been a little childish and immature. But that’s just his personality, so I’ve never minded. 

When we finally finished sneaking past the teachers, er- I was sneaking, the others just walked by as if we didn’t have the chance of getting caught and detained for ditching. 

But either way I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Man that was so much pressure- Ack!” I exclaim.

The others laughed at me as I said this. I didn’t see what was so funny, I was petrified at the thought of being caught and having them tell my parents! But they were happy, so I didn’t mind.

We loaded into Craig’s car with me in the passenger and Clyde and Token in the back. Craig immediately turned on the car and heat, thank the Lord, before handing me the aux.  
I looked up at him quizzically as he continued holding it out to me.

“Play some music, dumbass.” He requested.

“I- I can’t play my music! What if you guys 'd like. Agh! What if you guys don’t like it!?” I practically screeched.

“Don’t worry dude! I’m sure we’ll like whatever you have to play for us!” Clyde cheered.

I glanced at them all nervously before I hesitantly took the aux cord from Craig and switched on my severely injured phone. With the number of times I’ve dropped it, I’m surprised it still functions properly.

I plug it in, go to my music app and click on my main playlist before shakily placing my phone down in the cupholder. I then tense and hastily buckle my seatbelt as a distraction as I wait for someone to say they hate it, or that I have awful taste in music. But when the harsh comments never come. I relax and half-lid my eyes, listening to everything going on around me. 

Craig rolls down the windows just a bit and the chilly air hits my face again, slightly stinging… But, this time, it feels nice.

I pull my hands into his jacket and push the collar up around my face until it’s brushing the edge of my nose. I settle into the seat until I’m comfortable and Craig takes off, blasting my music along the way.

Trouvaille- a valuable discovery or a lucky find; something lovely discovered by chance.

**Author's Note:**

> Ummmmm. I don't have any endnotes rn. But I hope you guys like this story. I'm not a perfect writer obviously, but I just need a way to get my motion out and this is a good way to do that. SO I'm learning as I go! Thanks for reading if you're here! :)


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